click to leave fresh arse

We went out for happy-hour margaritas and I watched the pens on my phone. What a farce. I hope that the Lionesses practice taking pens, as many looked like they had never kicked a ball before, let alo...

Why are Sporting being such fucking dicks??

I'll see your 80s and raise you a 1991

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRsHNrJIZ0U

Well I count it as country rock, so there..

Serena should be thanking her lucky stars!

Not seen an evening of defending like this since big Mustafi was out there for us. Bloody hated the ball that lad, actively ran away from it so often.

Why send the keeper to take one? They're already under pressure being the keeper, but to then try to take a pen seems madness.

some of them maybe but Beth was only out there 50 minutes, Clinton 25 min, Jakobson 25min, Holmberg an hour.

I suspect it was fatigue as much as anything.

Women after 120 minutes, must be out on their feet to be fair.

did these teams not practice pens? goodness gracious.

did these teams not practice pens? goodness gracious.

did these teams not practice pens? goodness gracious.

Worst penalty shoot out ever.

Sweden missed! England through!

Bronze old skool pen!

Bronze old skool pen!

Neither team deserves to win.

Hilt Falk.

Chloe Kelly shows how it's done

Greenwood saved

Mead saved

James saved still 1-0

Stina subbed. No idea why she looks like she could have run for another 120 min!

Arsenal to the rescue

Even statues have their moment.

I was thinking the same

Arsenal to the rescue

Ffs

I mean Bronze actually moves like a bronze statue.

I bet you did about Paul Durkin.

The ref has lovely eyes.

I have never said that before.

Your gals are getting schooled

They are the reigning champions..

Sweden playing a rather old team as well there is some exciting new blood not picked .. one of them Rosa Cafaji
Belongs to Arsenal and needs some gametime somewhere....

Except that these women have won this tournament, unlike the men.

Exactly, there are some great players in there, but the team should have evolved more from the last Euros. Teams have caught up.

Too me it looks like a team that is just past its prime. Too many legacy players that are past the sell by date that are not fast enough or fit enough to stay at the top.

Similar to the men, English players look better in their club teams when surrounded by overseas talent.

Similar to the men, English players look better in their club teams when surrounded by overseas talent.

Sweden just look a lot fitter and stronger really. Just all over England all the time, don't seem to know how to cope with it.

Sweden just look a lot fitter and stronger really. Just all over England all the time, don't seem to know how to cope with it.

Sweden just look a lot fitter and stronger really. Just all over England all the time, don't seem to know how to cope with it.

Loads of meaningless possession. Then when they get the ball forward there are zero options in the box.

England has no answer. But they have been poor for a while.

Luis Guzman

Luis Guzman

Luis Guzman

I thought for a minute she was former the NY GOP Representative George Santos.

Sounds like where I teach.

Too much faffing about with ponytails.

Are we sure that's not Andre Santos instead of Carter?

Why wait until HT?

Why wait until HT?

Carter should be off at HT.
Coach needs to set a rocket under them at the break.

Too many culinary temptations across the Atlantic.

Carter getting skinned again. Look like she needs to ease off the bon-bons.

Ex-Cuntski, what do you expect?!

Arse

Jess carter a disaster. Fucking calamity.

I'd rather see the announcements spread over a few days.

I'd rather see the announcements spread over a few days.

Takes two to tango. I just want to rest easy. My ideal is to see Madueke, Gyökeres and Eze as a triple announcement.

Takes two to tango. I just want to rest easy. My ideal is to see Madueke, Gyökeres and Eze as a triple announcement.

It might not be us who are drawing things out.

He won't get Caramellos in Manchester.

He's a fucking bum

I see that Nypan kid has signed for City. I wonder if he'll play at all.

I see that Nypan kid has signed for City. I wonder if he'll play at all.

Fucking hell, we're drawing out this Gyökeres announcement. The longer it goes on, the more nervous I feel. We cannot fail here.

This is fantastic

https://www.arsenal.com/news/inside-training-goalkeepers-get-work

These arses just jumpered the shark

Only Cardi B I know is the spare one I wear when Cardi A is in the wash

(pretends to know who the fuck Cardi B is)

Technically a cold day in the Midlands, but that is up north enough..

Romano reports that Snoop Dogg is going to invest in Swansea FC.

North Americans do seem keen on Welsh clubs.

(pretends to know who the fuck Cardi B is)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59618151

christ! Gyökeres' house is being robbed, someone call the cops.

Romano reports that Snoop Dogg is going to invest in Swansea FC.

North Americans do seem keen on Welsh clubs.

Technically a cold day in the Midlands, but that is up north enough..

christ! Gyökeres' house is being robbed, someone call the cops.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59618151

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59618151

And sign an acapella rendition of North Lisbon Forever from the top of the Belém Tower

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59618151

And extend his apology to his ex girlfriend and get back together with her.

Portuguese CNN are showing a removal van loading stuff from Gyokeres' house.
And someone has spotted a private jet from Stockholm to London that wasn't scheduled until this morning.

The stuff you can...

that will come in handy for sure, but can he do it on a cold day in Stoke?

So Gyokeres is in two places at once? Fuck, this guy is good.

Varandas: "So he'll pay a fine, have to move back to Lisbon, apologise for going on strike and moving house and then finish his 3 year contract"

Portuguese CNN are showing a removal van loading stuff from Gyokeres' house.
And someone has spotted a private jet from Stockholm to London that wasn't scheduled until this morning.

The stuff you can...

Arse!
Bruce!
The Arses are sounding like a hospital wing again. Good health to you ollie, class, sal...

Showtime again
https://youtu.be/cmzd_Xa_2Cc
Say what you will about 80s music but for the coun...

Arse!
Bruce!
The Arses are sounding like a hospital wing again. Good health to you ollie, class, sal...

Showtime again
https://youtu.be/cmzd_Xa_2Cc
Say what you will about 80s music but for the coun...

Are you back in full training now?

Flamini, Lehmann - also both returned for a stint.

And yet at the time it was viewed as a good signing

that particular one was in Nice.
But there's a few lines in Paris and around the periphery now, so I take it to go to the physio, though driving would be a lot quicker at the moment.

Fucking bald, shit, useless cunt!

Chelsea got in Felix twice. Not sure we've ever done that.

bass meant that Chelsea double down on crap. Because money means nothing to them and they are short some screws.

I'd forgotten about Lehmann's second.

Is being shit first the criteria? Not sure then.

Keown, if being let go as a teenager counts.

Flamini, Lehmann - also both returned for a stint.

Flamini, Lehmann - also both returned for a stint.

Chelsea got in Felix twice. Not sure we've ever done that.

I predict you will be calling for it before end of first half at Elderly Trafford.

Morning GL. Just a few evenings ago, we were reminiscing about that afternoon in The Gunners so thought of you.

My god it’s walking wounded in here. Does it count that I mildly aggravated an old shoulder injury trying to rage, rage against the dying of the light by doing too many push-ups?

No I guess it doe...

My god it’s walking wounded in here. Does it count that I mildly aggravated an old shoulder injury trying to rage, rage against the dying of the light by doing too many push-ups?

No I guess it doe...

Morning, GL.

He's a big, strong guy. His brand of throat- stamping would be very satisfying to behold I'd imagine.

Also, speedy recovery to the walking wounded arseurs Sal, Class, Ollie.. who else did miss?

Nik can get on the team plane to Singapore as he's all healed up.

I hadn’t even considered his throat-stamping potential. Leave it to you to have that covered!

ArseWiB

Hello all.

Ah, I have just the one coat. The same one that gets thrown out the door after me. It's quite crumpled up by now. 😅

Yes please!

Big Vik to step on their miserable throats on matchday 1

No you didn't....how many coats have you got? ;-P

Joao Felix as well. Other clubs make big mistakes, they just cut their losses and move on.

Looks like it. Wonder if Eintracht have heard of "add ons"...

I thought you're back in Paris, no?

😉

Nunez has been such a triumph that he's being sold.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2025/jul/17/problems-piling-up-for-ruben-amorim-as-manchester-united-struggle-to-rebuild Reading about Man Utd's problems reminds me about our summer of 2010-11. ...

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2025/jul/17/problems-piling-up-for-ruben-amorim-as-manchester-united-struggle-to-rebuild Reading about Man Utd's problems reminds me about our summer of 2010-11. ...

Nice.

They've played Newcastle quite nicely.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2025/jul/17/problems-piling-up-for-ruben-amorim-as-manchester-united-struggle-to-rebuild Reading about Man Utd's problems reminds me about our summer of 2010-11. ...

Plus a year's supply of Caramello

Liverpool negotiating for two strikers in parallel? I thought our boy invented that.

You win a free Calvert-Lewin for that.

Vieira 35m, we had our pants pulled down there

Good stuff. Now we can sell you.

Stop using empirical evidence, Chris.

It's a well known fact that other clubs' signings are always superior to those of Arsenal.

You're both whippersnappers.

Liverpool just pulled the ol' dosey doo on Newcastle. 🤣

Good luck to Reiss Nelson, who'll be turning 26 in December.. On the same day that I'll be turning 48.

That's how it works.

In terms of injury updates, you'll all be delighted to know that the last bit of scab by my eye just fell off and there's no longer any bruising.
The end.

Missed this... What happened, Sal?

€80m inc add-ons?

Not bad, I guess. Makes Disgustingly Sweet Energy Drink Leipzig cunts a bit stupid for asking top dollar for Šeško...

But at least it means we can sign Isak next summer!

In terms of injury updates, you'll all be delighted to know that the last bit of scab by my eye just fell off and there's no longer any bruising.
The end.

Looks like Ekitike on way to Liverpool.
He looks quality.
Seems like teams like Newcastle, Liverpool and Athletico do pretty damn well at choosing strikers… we should just start poaching their targe...

Hey brother - waiting day by day for the results of the scan last week. Happy to report I'm alot more mobile (and pain free) right now but as I'm sure you'll appreciate, quite scared of doing anything...

The only time I actually watched him play a whole game was against Spurs last season. He scored early on and then proceeded to do fuck all for the rest of the match.

Looks like Ekitike on way to Liverpool.
He looks quality.
Seems like teams like Newcastle, Liverpool and Athletico do pretty damn well at choosing strikers… we should just start poaching their targe...

35million for an understudy to 35m Odegaard just never made sense. Then watching Vieira, it made even less sense. Sad, but another total waste of money. If we can recoup some of it, that would be geni...

Looks like Ekitike on way to Liverpool.
He looks quality.
Seems like teams like Newcastle, Liverpool and Athletico do pretty damn well at choosing strikers… we should just start poaching their targe...

An Arseblog injury crisis to rival anything at the club itself.

Blogs is clearly pushing us all into the red zone too often.

No actual driving myself for 2-3 weeks

Vieira 35m, we had our pants pulled down there

Vieira 35m, we had our pants pulled down there

Good stuff.
Guessing that ALSO means no sneezing there (from vague old memory).
No vibrating transport too, can't remember the exact term, essentially no bus/trains/cars etc. So guess that's no transp...

Until they unions decide to strike. Heh

Vieira 35m, we had our pants pulled down there

How's hernia recovery?

It's the big injuryblog convention today!

It's pretty good.

The Nice public transport network is amazing

Morning. Well in Nik …and Bruce.
A few others to mention along with Nelson, Hein and Vieira…
Tavares? Lokonga? Still Arsenal players or gone?
Marquinhos sold for 2.5million right?

If we can genera...

Surgical dressings came off this morning and I was able to shower. Still a little bit sore but like salaar, my main concern is not doing anything to cause damage

that particular one was in Nice.
But there's a few lines in Paris and around the periphery now, so I take it to go to the physio, though driving would be a lot quicker at the moment.

How's hernia recovery?

It's the big injuryblog convention today!

Fingers crossed indeed. These "trams" - are they a. new thing in Paris? Or just by you?

How's hernia recovery?

It's the big injuryblog convention today!

Difficult to know what you can do….a violent sneeze or cough can trigger something

Difficult to know what you can do….a violent sneeze or cough can trigger something

And yeah, danger (especially after a a few drinks) to be tempted to do wrong things.
Especially when with other people. Like tram arriving, people: let's run for it. Me: no, doesn't matter if I miss i...

Hey brother - waiting day by day for the results of the scan last week. Happy to report I'm alot more mobile (and pain free) right now but as I'm sure you'll appreciate, quite scared of doing anything...

Hey brother - waiting day by day for the results of the scan last week. Happy to report I'm alot more mobile (and pain free) right now but as I'm sure you'll appreciate, quite scared of doing anything...

Yo salaar. How's stuff?

Basically 26

'He'll be 26 in December'.
Very roundabout way to say he is still 25.

Ivan Gazidis in the summer of 2017 on what success means for Arsenal.

Success for Arsenal always has to be to compete. That means first and foremost to compete in the Premier League. And that ...

'He'll be 26 in December'.
Very roundabout way to say he is still 25.

Fucking bald, shit, useless cunt!

Ivan Gazidis in the summer of 2017 on what success means for Arsenal.

Success for Arsenal always has to be to compete. That means first and foremost to compete in the Premier League. And that ...

Almost makes some of Trump’s speaking look coherent…..

Oh. Perhaps not

Ivan Gazidis in the summer of 2017 on what success means for Arsenal.

Success for Arsenal always has to be to compete. That means first and foremost to compete in the Premier League. And that ...

Ivan Gazidis in the summer of 2017 on what success means for Arsenal.

Success for Arsenal always has to be to compete. That means first and foremost to compete in the Premier League. And that ...

Ivan Gazidis in the summer of 2017 on what success means for Arsenal.

Success for Arsenal always has to be to compete. That means first and foremost to compete in the Premier League. And that ...

Ivan Gazidis in the summer of 2017 on what success means for Arsenal.

Success for Arsenal always has to be to compete. That means first and foremost to compete in the Premier League. And that ...

Well in nik